There really hasn't been any "throw-up", but it's definitely what I've been wanting to do. Nathan lost his job two weeks ago and I have been feeling so sick. Thoughts have been racing through my mind..."What are we going to do? How long is it going to take to find a job in this market? Are we going to be able to feed ourselves and continue to provide a roof over our heads for our little family? Will McKay be forever emotionally scarred from the stress of his parents? Do we sell our house? Where will we live?"...and so on.
I took so much for granted. Instead of loathing the intolerable St. George heat, I love it and am so sad at the thought of having to leave my home, my friends, and everything familiar to McKay. I'm so grateful for the gospel and a knowledge of a loving Heavenly Father. I know it's going to be a little rough for an unknown amount of time, but my eternal perspective is helping to keep me focused on what's really important. We have each other, we have our families, we have the gospel, we have our friends, we have the peace of the Savior. I know we truly won't starve and we will not have to live on the street. We have several lifelines to hang on to for the long haul. We are blessed. Thinking about the pioneers always helps me realize just how easy we have it.
I had a little surgery on my bottom lip on Monday. One side has been larger than other for several years and I tend to bite it, making it even bigger and discolored. I finally got the nerve to let my brother work on it. I passed out in the procedure chair after he numbed my lip. I felt so sick for the rest of the day. He removed a little cyst and a hemangioma. I've been feeling pretty sick all week. Every time I go to clean my lip or look at it in the mirror, I feel like I'm going to pass out again. Friday night I actually felt much more sick and I couldn't figure out why I would be feeling worse. A funny little thought popped into my head, but I pushed it out until yesterday afternoon. It turns out that funny little thought was spot on....I'm pregnant! What great timing. As the shock is wearing off I'm getting cautiously excited. We may be unemployed and expecting, but we have faith that everything is going to work out and we are especially looking forward to the middle of September.